i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
