that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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