And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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