No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
