strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Randomize
