Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
