Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
