Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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