And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
