what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
