In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
