And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
