I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
