I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
is it fun? or sober?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
