all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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