I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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