im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Small penises have feelings too.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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