ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
