Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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