My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
