Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
