I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
