Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
