take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She's the barista slut.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
