I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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