I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
