believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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