I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
