Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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