sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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