do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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