i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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