Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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