I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
