Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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