Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
you never un-have a 4some
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
