I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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