quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
