His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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