his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
