9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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