im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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