oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
