Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
