Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
