Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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