I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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