Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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