the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
