Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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