More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
